I made my first batch of chocolate chip cookies here. The ingredients posed some slight issues, aside from the basics.
· Brown sugar does not exist in its processed, American form, instead they have something called Cassonade. It’s closer to that “Sugar in the Raw” stuff than it is brown sugar…big ol’ grains of sugar…but at least it’s brown.
· They have vanilla extract, but I didn’t buy it because it’s expensive. Instead I bought these packets of vanilla something. I don’t know specifically what they are, other than the fact that it’s poor man’s vanilla flavor.
· Baking soda doesn’t really exist, instead they have something called leveur chimique, or chemical riser? That’s a shitty translation, but this stuff does the job.
· Chocolate chips exist…but they’re expensive and come in small quantities. I substituted M&Ms for one batch and crushed up a dark chocolate bar for another, with the latter being tastier.
· Crisco, the secret ingredient to my cookies (I can tell you the secret ingredient because I know you’ll never be able to duplicate them, unless I teach you how to make them), doesn’t EXACTLY exist here. Instead they have something called grasse a frire that is pure vegetable oil like Crisco…but hard like a brick. Cue some time in the microwave, and I can convince it to behave like I want to.
· So…essentially all that was the same was white sugar, flour, eggs, margarine, and salt. Hey look…you have all the ingredients. You still won’t be able to make them. Just ask Chris Sewalish.
Next challenge, mixing all this stuff together. My mother was kind enough to mail me some measuring cups and spoons, so I don’t have to worry about that. But I had never made cookies without an electric mixer before. So I spent some time fighting with a wooden spoon, the cheapass whisk I bought, and a fork. Eventually I showed the dough who was boss. After some time going through batch by batch to see which pan from my cupboard worked to bake them on, I eventually remembered that I had a metal cake pan that was the closest I’d get to a cookie sheet. It worked beautifully, and the cookies turned out well. As you may know, I have very high standards for my chocolate chip cookies. Given the circumstances, I did a very good job. But perfection can only be obtained with an electric mixer and 100% American ingredients.
Aside from testing out the recipe, I was preparing these cookies for the next life update I have. Through my program, I’ve started volunteering a few hours a week at a center where adults go to take intense English classes. Everyone who goes there is trying to learn English because they’re unemployed and want to be more marketable to employers. Each class focuses on a specific job sector, such as hotel/restaurant, tourism, sales/business, etc. It’s a bit of a somber mood when you realize why all these people are in a room together, but they have fun with it. So I show up there twice a week for two hours and speak English with these people. In exchange, they’re encouraged to invite me out to do things and speak French with them or if they want to practice their English more, we can speak English. Everyone there is super nice, and took down my information (and were impressed that I possessed personal business cards) and said they’d contact me in the future.
Today, I went in to have some discussion with the groups and brought them the cookies I made. They were too excited. I had mentioned that the colorful cookies were made with M&Ms because chocolate chips were too expensive. Then, one of the students mentioned that she has a stockpile of chocolate chips at home because she used to own a bakery and would be willing to trade chocolate chips for cookies. Then another student says that she would be willing to pay me to make cookies for her family and friends, and another agreed. So now it looks like I need to go through my receipts and see how much it costs me to make cookies in France. Because I think I just found another part time job. And this is all just proving the fact that I totally have a pretty sweet backup life plan if politics fails me.
After that, I went out for lunch with a group of eight people from the class who are learning English to find jobs related to tourism. They were very impressed when I said I could understand 95% of what they were saying during the table wide discussion and that my French sounded very good. My French is just better than their English, let’s be real. My French has a long way to go. But it was a very fun environment for all of us to practice in, and I look forward to joining them in the future.
Smaller updates:
· Contrary to popular belief due to the tone of my blog, I’m having fun here.
· If you’re reading this blog, then you should probably know me. If you know me, then you know I can be an asshole most of the time. But I mean well. Usually.
· I love it here. I don’t want to come home. At least not until June. I am very happy with my choice to come to this city, this school, and to stay for a year. My life is magical, goddamn it. I’m living in the south of France. I miss some things about home, but the things I find here that I can’t find back home combined with the “once in a lifetime opportunity effect” are doing a good job at fighting off most homesickness.
· I still don’t have internet. I’m still angry about it. My roommates and I are still working on it. This is giving me some practice with my Angry French, something I insist on mastering before I leave this country. If I got home not speaking normal French any better but could argue and rip someone a new one like nobody’s business, I’d be totally content. This is what’s important to me.
· I remain upset about a lack of contact with friends from back home. The only time I have reliable, long term internet time is my afternoon/your morning. And you people (what do you mean you people) are all getting ready for, and going to class then. I miss all of you. So I know we haven’t talked in a while, but please don’t forget about me. As a point of reference, American Central Time and I are seven hours apart. I have some great friends here in France, but they will never replace the ones I left in America.
· My friends and I had taco night the other day. The only thing missing was margaritas. But it was still great. I still miss real Mexican food though.
More updates to come as my life continues to get more interesting.
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